Bicultural Language Lamenting…

26 Feb

My Boricua Dad just called me to tell me his cancer is in remission. While I listened to his good news, I was also especially keen on listening to the melody of his Spanish accent. Oh how I wish I could turn back time to reclaim the 17 years my wannabe-American mother forbade me to see him, to even talk to him. I wonder how my Newyorican life would have been different if he’d been more present in my life. I’m sure I would know more of my native language, given that Papi runs a Spanish language home. What a gaping wound it still is to not have command of my people’s native tongue. No matter how hard I try – classroom settings with Gringos, hundreds of dollars spent on Rosetta Stone – I’ve come to accept that my Spanish language skills will never be what they should have been. For now, at least I’ll have my Dad a little bit longer to listen to and soothe me.

2 Responses to “Bicultural Language Lamenting…”

  1. KCLAnderson (Karen) February 26, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

    What a handsome guy! I can relate to missing out on living with a father, although in my case, I was allowed to see him (although my mother would have preferred I didn’t) once in a while (every six weeks). I’m glad your Dad is healthier…how often do you get to see him?

    • New Yorican Girl February 26, 2012 at 7:42 pm #

      Thank you, Karen. I’ve seen my father perhaps only 10 times in my entire life. Our relationship is sadly a casualty of the worst kind of bicultural hatred (when opposing views simply refuse to acknowledge each other’s existence)…

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